My journey to MPhil and possibly PhD is something I want to focus on now. I am sure there are many academic mothers out there and I would love to meet a fellow academic woman who has had to put her studies on pause whilst bringing up the next generation. It is the woman, who again puts her career on hold. There is no funding, there is no money for what we study (if there is, it is a pittance). And all this is to be able to contribute to a wealth of scientific knowledge. To join a community of academics where your research is valued. To be part of history, where people site your name – ‘Ramachandran et al’. That’s what I’ve wanted. I am nearly there, why oh why, would I want to give it up?
I turn from my computer and hear the singing and babbling in the monitors sitting on the kitchen counter. The babies are awake. It is easy to give it up. They are my life, they are my history and they are my ‘Ramachandran et al’. But surely I am more than just a mother?
I recently attended a meeting with my university to discuss where to go next. One thing for sure, is that I don’t want to sacrifice two years worth of data collection and literature searches, simply because I have had my children. Funding has never been so difficult. On a separate note, it is a damn shame that we as a country are leaving the European Union as that has simply put an end or even halted the thought of obtaining any such funding from our European neighbours. The world of science and research will never be the same.
I haven’t really proven myself in the corporate world, as I have always believed that academia was the career branch for me. How can I possibly let that go without giving it the best I’ve got? I have decided to attempt and leave the university with a minimum of a Masters of Philosophy in Psychophysiology. That means no income and looking after two babies whilst I attempt to write a thesis of 40,000 words. I will also have to defend my work to an external and internal examiner during, what I can only imagine as a gruelling viva. I aim to do this by the summer of 2018 – will you follow my journey?